Okay, so I’ve done it again. Fallen off the face if the earth for a whole week, and without an excuse. I just haven’t felt like blogging. Sorry.
I’ve had a good week all in all. I’m just feeling rubbish today as it was the end of this block on Friday. It’s been really good fun, but I am so going to miss the peeps I was at hospital with. Especially the guy I have/had the crush on. It’s mixed tense because right now I still do but I am trying to STOP.
I ‘fessed up to Mirabelle while we were out and a bit pissed last night. Which has made the whole thing horribly real. And you know what, I like him muchly as a friend completely separately to the crush thing, so it’s going to be rubbish come tomorrow morning when I don’t get to meet him at 8am for half an hour of quality sitting in Birmingham traffic time. Sigh.
So anyway, I’m stopping the stupid crush thing because it is pointless. He is my friend and that’s my lot.
Although just once I would like it to be me. Everyone else gets to have flirtations and fun and boyfriends. I have not had any real interest for forever. When will it be my turn?
I’ve never been in love. Sure, I’ve liked guys, been seeing some of ‘em, but never had a serious boyfriend, never been in love. Why is that? Is it me? Is it never going to be me?
Maybe I am stupid for hoping. It’s got to the stage when even darling Mirabelle said yesterday ‘Surely someone has to realise how beautiful and lovely you are…’
And I had nothing to say to that, except ‘Oh God, when? When?’.
Now, I’m not stunning, but I’m no troll. I’m not pencil thin, but I ain’t a case for gastric banding. I have a rather generous bottom, but a phenomenal rack (I quote) to balance it out. I have a round face with a blobby nose, but big blue-green eyes and long dark blonde hair. I am friendly, easy-going, intelligent and bizarre enough to be moderately interesting.
So why the fuck does nobody else see that?
On a lighter note, I have discovered a fool proof way to get rid of crazies at bus stops. You know, the ones who talk and talk at you. One came up to me this morning at the bus stop, 8.30am, an Irish women, probably in her 60s, who said she’d fallen over, and it was terribly painful, then showed the graze, she told me what she wanted to put on it yadda yadda… she paused for breath after about five minutes and asked me if I was going to work. I said ‘No, I’m going to Church.’
She said ‘Oh, right…’ and scarpered. Fabulous. Jesus is my Saviour.
Currently listening to: Snow Patrol – Eyes Open. Suitably dirge-like for today’s mood. Marvellous.