I had a good day today, despite getting SEVEN BUSES in one day all over the Black Country. That's not exactly my idea of fun, but I made through...
I also kind of had a revelation about the whole 'I don't want to be a doctor' thing. I still am unsure, but have started mentioning this to people (read: other medics) and its commoner than I thought. Anyway, today I attended a suturing skills session, and it was so much fun. And, dare I say, I was quite good. And suddenly I started thinking about the exciting possibilities of studying medicine. I could still be a surgeon, and I was getting excited about it. About doing plastics (in the cosmetic sense obv! hehe) and orthopaedics (my first love as a child doing the 'Body' topic at school. Aged 10 I labelled a school worksheet skeleton picture using my mum's anatomy atlases and then drew out the bones of the hands and feet because there wasn't room to label all the individual carpals and tarsals on the school one. My teacher was totally flummoxed but gave me a merit for it!). And then a patient came in who reminded meof my interest in rheumatology. There are now all these thoughts buzzing round my head, and I am interested in medicine again. I'm still not sure I want tobe a doctor, but my interest and curiosity and passion for medicine is stirring again. And I am tentatively thrilled. Long may it continue!
Just read this back before posting, and wondered if having the courage to say 'I'm not sure I want to be a doctor anymore' has given me back my enjoyment. Maybe because I've released the pressure of feeling stuck on the everlasting treadmill, I'm able to look up from the tiny part of medicine around me (namely exams and studying) and see again the things that brought me here in the first place.
It's National Delurking Week (8 - 12 January). So anyone who's out there and doesn't comment,please say hi. I'm not really thinking there is anyone, because I think this is the kind of blog where the people who do read it comment, but just in case!