I’ve had a good couple of days, but can hardly believe the weekend is gone already. My post-exam chill out period is over, and now I have to get on with things. And I can’t explain why, but my stress levels are through the roof. I am on edge, feeling very tense and anxious, and unable to concentrate. Everything is worrying me.
I think it is a combination of worrying about
Everything makes me cry. Phone call to my parents, programme on telly, song on the radio, a very silly film… I just want it all to go away. I want to feel on top of everything, in control.
And imagine what happened when I sat and watched My Girl yesterday, after buying it in a fit of nostalgia from HMV. That's right, I nearly drowned in my own tears.
Anyway, I am going to Spring Harvest this week, well Tuesday to Sunday, and I hope that I will feel better once I am there. Ha! Who am I kidding? I’m hoping to get out alive, and not be eaten alive by the Jesus Freaks. When I said yes to this particular adventure, I was feeling positive towards Christianity and my faith. Positive, in that faith might eventually come back to me. Now I am certain that even if I do find it again, it won’t be this week. I will endeavour to write posts by hand that can be posted dated, but in all honesty I think the next time I post will be slipped in between unpacking from Skeggy and packing for Canada. So probably a short one!
3 comments:
Let it go, wanting to be in control all the time is what kills us. I know it's not easy, we're control freaks in nature, but I know it's one of the sources that make you feel bad.
Going to Canada is very stressful, I have no doubt about it, so it's normal you feel this way. And if something happens while there, Tall and I are there ;)
Enjoy your time at camp, even if it doesn't bring your faith back, try to take advantage of this "free" time!
Hang in there girl!
And MedNeo is here too. :)
Anything we can do, just give a shout.
I tend to go through a stress rebound effect after exams too. I think, for me, it has something about not knowing exactly what I am doing next. Or maybe it is loss of control after handing in the papers; worrying that gets transfered to all sorts of other things that normally wouldn't be an issue.
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