Tuesday, October 23, 2007

NEWSFLASH

I am enjoying medicine.

OK, so I am not enjoying all the poo and vomit on my ward, nor am I enjoying trying to cram for my damn exams.

But the being a house officer bit, yeah, that’s okay. I like being useful – I like taking bloods, writing in patient notes on the ward round, finding obs charts and being trusted to interpret them, filling out radiology requests, clerking patients in pre-op clinics, chasing results, and most of all being part of a team that cares about and knows each and every patient.

So maybe it’s more than ok. Maybe it feels like the best job in the world, the only job I’ve ever seriously wanted. Maybe all of a sudden I’m excited about next year, ready to jump in and go for it! Maybe I’ve remembered that I want to be a doctor. And it’s an amazing, exhilarating and brilliant feeling. I don’t feel as though I’m going to fall flat on my face and never be able to do it – on the contrary, I think I’ll make a good job of being a foundation doctor. I’m still depressed about getting through this final year of my medical degree, the exams, the cramming, the fact learning; but I know now that this is what I want.

Wow.

It’s about time.

3 comments:

Marysienka said...

Yay that's wonderful :-) That's great post, so happy! The feeling of being useful is really good! This summer, after every surgery, ortho#2 would always thank me. At some point, I said "stop thanking me, I'm not doing much, except for maybe being a weight on your shoulders!". And he replied, "hey when I say thank you, I mean it. You did help. And I know that what you're doing, you're doing with your heart, that's all that counts" (man he is so cool, isn't he?). Well, I "helped" as much as a 2nd yr medstudent can (which can be resumed in stitching the wounds, holding instruments and doing bandage/dressing/etc. Oh and drilling too far when doing ORIF lol!). But yeah I did feel useful a few times (usually not in surgery!), and it's always in those moments I remember why I want to be a doctor.

Hey it's going to FUN ;) hihihi! (ok, I'm still scared, but... anyway)

But what's a foundation doctor?

p.s. no you're not going to know his real name ;)

Tall Medstudent said...

My last couple of weeks have been similar... it's nice to be useful and trusted in some way.

the little medic said...

hehe, thats funny, i've recently been feeling the same. I think 5th year must do that to you.