Wednesday, April 02, 2008


I'm lonely at the moment. I don't mean for friends - I am extremely blessed in the friendship department, with some truly spectacularly good friends - I mean for a 'someone'. Someone to belong to, and have him belong to me.

My best friend is moving in with her boyfriend in a few short months. They've been discussing children, and I don't mean in a 'let's call them Mufasa and Sauron the Dark Lord*' kinda way. I mean in a 'when and how many' kind of way. It's very real, and very far out of my reach.

I'm definitely not ready for that yet, but I would like to be at least able to relate to that. To be able to think, yeah, I'll be there in a few years. Right now, it all seems light years from me.

And I'm worried that loneliness will turn me into a bitter old woman before I ever get the chance.

* yes, these really are the names of my brother's future children. Let's hope no woman is ever daft enough to procreate with him for the sake of said future children.

1 comment:

Marysienka said...

Well, you're not alone!
We're definitely in the same boat. I miss that sense of touch so much... more than the actual relationship, because I love my independence the way it is right now. But yea, I so wish I could talk about my future children like my friends do... :o/ Oh well... it'll come...