I’m in the middle of a love-hate relationship with my skin.
My natural skin tone is fair, with yellow undertones. Despite being a natural blonde, I don’t have the pink and white skin tone of the truly fair. So although in the winter I look more sallow than English rose, I tan beautifully, and quickly. However I am extremely adverse to sunbathing. There are many reasons, including:
1. Sweating – sunbathing is just too too HOT.
2. Wrinkles – sun damage ages your skin. I’ve seen the effect on my Grandmother (skin like a old leather sofa) and it’s not going to be repeated by moi.
3. Boredom – too bright to read a book, too hot to sleep…
4. Skin cancer – well, doesn’t do to risk it does it?
But I still want to be brown. Why? Because brown is beautiful darling! I look good with a bit of colour (although not too much. I don’t want to channel ‘WAG’). So faking it is the way forward, and, after many trials, I think I’ve finally found a product that works for me. I don’t like ‘fake tans’ because I am incompetent and always miss a bit, but I love these new gradual tanners. Last year I trialled the Dove version, but it did make me a bit too orange and a bit streaky. This new Nivea one is great – good even colour, and firming too. I love it! And I look absolutely delicious, and not day-glo orange, or streaky or too dark. Just as if I’ve spent the last week sunbathing in the park (and doing it naked to have achieved the completeness of colour that I have…!).
However, Fate has stepped in and burst my little balloon of sun-kissed happiness, by giving me a nasty case of perioral impetigo.
I have no idea how I got it, but I feel like crap. It’s extremely uncomfortable – tight, itchy, sore – and I feel very conscious of its nasty crusty appearance. I feel like a revolting leper. It’s completely battered my self confidence. I sat in the GP’s waiting room this morning feeling like an absolute freak, and hated going to the pharmacy and actually conversing with people. I am not confident about my appearance at the best of times (ha, understatement of the year!) and the voice in the back of my head is telling me that I’ve brought this upon myself by being so pleased and proud of my gorgeously brown body. I spent the rest of the day hiding in my room, refusing to entertain the thought of going to placement. It’s grim, and I hope the antibiotics start working their magic very very soon.